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giraffepoliceforce:

Unsure of how to confess your love to someone? Try this:

  1. Acquire several dozen limes.
  2. Go up to them and then drop all the limes.
  3. Start picking them up, but keep dropping them. The clumsier you look the better.
  4. Keep doing this until you have their attention (this could take up to thirty minutes).
  5. Finally gather up the limes. Try looking a bit sheepish.
  6. Look them deeply in the eyes and say, “Sorry. I’m bad at Pickup Limes.”
  7. Marry them.

(via pagingme)

valleyofdestruction:

spoken-not-written:

dropped my scrabble game on the sidewalk

What’s the word on the street?

(via perks-of-being-chinese)

to fathers with daughtersrupi kaur  (via metaphorically)

(via metaphorically)

every time you
tell your daughter
you yell at her
out of love
you teach her to confuse
anger with kindness
which seems like a good idea
till she grows up to
trust men who hurt her
cause they look so much
like you.

ohhenryd:

thatpunnyguy:

snazziest:

They call me coffee cuz I grind so fine

They call me coffee I keep you up past 2 am

They call me coffee because I’m really bitter and most people don’t like me without changing some aspect of what I am

(via crunchwrapsuprerne)

To my future wife…

lastofa-dyingbreed:

When I die I want you to mix my ashes in a bowl of chili, then eat it. Just so I can tear that ass up one more time.

(Source: hbkjayy, via crunchwrapsuprerne)

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